Friday, August 19, 2011

a blah day................

Today is just a slight blah day, and not really for any particular reason.  Samuel wasn't doing too hot, because he is dealing with a lot of anxiety right now.  I don't know if anyone is familiar with anxiety, but it is very different than stress, and unfortunately, it runs in Samuel's family on both sides, and lately, Samuel has been very anxious.  I don't remember it ever really being this bad.  and it is hard for me to understand because I am really a low-stress person.  Even when big stress things are going on, I still tend to keep my cool and try to stay level headed, and lately, living in a house full of anxious people, this probably seems weird that I am calm and collected.  
I am learning more and more on how to deal with anxiety and how it affects Samuel and what not, and I try not to add extra stress or pressure to him, but it is hard work.  Hopefully it will get better. 

but as a side note, Samuel started back with Yuba College this week.  He is taking a tax preparation class, and so far he likes it.  Online school just really wasn't for him, but that's okay.  I, however, did sign up for online school and will be starting in October when all my transcripts are processed and what not.  I am excited to get back into the school mode.  This last year of no school really showed me how much I love school and miss it when I am not there...good thing I want to be a teacher.  lol   

I have been quilting a lot, and I am getting really close to being done with the comforter for my bed.  It really will be beautiful, and I am learning so much about sewing through this big project.  I have so many more ideas to do too, so this is great!! 

We are considering switching Amilee to a toddler bed; she really likes twin beds, like they are just her size, but we are not sure yet on our decision.  

I have been feeling a little like I am ready for the next chapter in our lives, and yes, I know, we have another child on the way, but I wish we were in our own place and living the way we want to live, and making our own little dinners, etc.  Not that I am not grateful that we are here; because I am, but some days are hard, and it is different when you go from being on your own to all of the sudden, not being on your own.  Samuel and I feel like we are here for a reason, whether it is to learn something or what, I am not sure, but I am ready to move on, and I wish our finances were in a place where we could, but they aren't.  And some days, that is really hard for me to deal with, since I want so much more.  But I trust in the Lord and in his timing, but it is hard.  You know?!?!?

Next week is mine and Samuel's anniversary; I am excited for some alone time and hopefully a really fun date!! I can't believe it has been three years already. It has gone by very fast and I am excited for many more years and eternitys to come.  

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